


It Isn't Too Hard to See We're in Heaven

by killerkitty15



Category: Outlast (Video Games)
Genre: Ableism, Brief Lucid Episodes, Canon-Typical Violence, Conspiracy, Delusions, Forced Feminization, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Mental Institutions, Misogyny, Past Child Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Sexual Violence, auditory hallucinations
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-17
Updated: 2020-03-30
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:14:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23191462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/killerkitty15/pseuds/killerkitty15
Summary: He loves her. He loves her so much that where he is or what they do to him doesn't matter. As long as he can find her again. As long as he can prove to her that he is worthy to be her husband.He will do anything for her.
Relationships: Eddie Gluskin/Waylon Park
Comments: 16
Kudos: 110





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've liked this pairing for a while but I've never grown the balls to write a full piece on it. Until today. 
> 
> Also: yes, the title is based off that one song

Being impaled was… inconvenient. Painful. The metal rod burned through his abdomen like liquid fire, bringing memories to the forefront he wished he could forget. Wished he could remove like the vulgarity that had disfigured all the whores and sluts that had been hanging from the ceiling. Like dry blood or blistered skin. He coughed, blood and spittle falling on his chin.  _ Oh, I am a mess… _ he thought worryingly,  _ Not gentlemanly at all, dribbling all over myself like a child.  _

He looked down and saw her, her pale, freckled face streaked in blood and grime, sweat and tears. Poor girl! He must’ve scared her. Was he too forward? Was he moving too quickly? _ It’s alright, darling, _ he wanted to tell her, _ I know it was just an accident. _ The image of his beautiful bride-to-be flicked in and out of focus, the soft white light that surrounded her like a halo disappeared only to be replaced by a dirty, filthy gymnasium, the room practically falling apart around them. She was no longer a “she” but a “he”, face bruised, looking wild and terrified, blood dripping on to his face. He still felt the memory of her-his-her hand in his. 

His bride-to-be kept on fading between his angelic, holy vision of her and the image of a scared, tired man.  _ What’s going on? _ Eddie wanted to ask but he only coughed up more blood. She looked up at him and laughed. Breathless. It was a beautiful sound. _ I’ve been so selfish… I should’ve been trying to make him _ \-- her  _ laugh. Not pursue my sinful desires. Did she know? Could she see my desperation for her affection? Was that what scared him _ \-- her  _ off?  _

He didn’t know how long he hung there, limp and bleeding --fading in and out of consciousness. But, eventually, he heard what sounded like a herd of rhinos, stomping boots, the crackle of walkie talkies, the clicks of guns being adjusted.  _ Who are you?! Why are you in my home?! _ He wanted to shout at them. Scream. A violation! An invasion!  _ Where is my bride? _ Even if his bride kept on turning into a man in his mind’s eye -- _ isn’t that the darnedest thing? It must be the blood loss… _ \--he still thought of her. Conscious or not.  _ Where is she?! _ He tried to shout but he only coughed up more blood.  _ I feel dizzy…  _

“...Holy shit, we have a live one here…!” 

_ Where is she?! _

“--someone… get… bleeding out--!”

_ My angel --my poor girl!-- where is she? You can’t trust the savages that call themselves “men”. Is she safe? No. No, no, no! She mustn’t be! I’m not there, I can’t protect her, I’m stuck! Where is  _ he?

Eddie felt the rod moving as they cut him down, dragging up memories like divers did corpses.  _ I hope she doesn’t see me like this… I don’t want my bride seeing me like this. _

He was laid out on a stretcher, but there was still movement all around him. 

“--more survivors… jeep… we have secured--.”

The last thing Eddie thought before he fell under a thick tarp of black was:  _ Ah! I’m glad he’s alive... _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you guys think in the comments... if I should keep updating this or not that kind of thing


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !! TRIGGER WARNING !!
> 
> This chapter features mention of Eddie's childhood, which is filled with abuse, rape and exploitation. I tried not to make it graphic or disrespectful but I do reference some details mentioned in the game (the pictures that were taken of Eddie by his uncle for father as a specific example) so if anyone believes they'll be triggered because of these things, I highly encourage you to skip this chapter and wait for the next update.

Even before Eddie was awake, his mind registered “danger”. Yet he didn’t move. He has woken up restrained before and knew fighting did nothing but exhaust him. Pain him. 

_ "It’s ok, Ed. You wanna be a good boy for Daddy… don’t you?” _

The words --now just a haunting echo-- were as frightening and chilling as they were the first time he heard them when he was nine. The whispers that were gradually getting louder --he still couldn’t make out what they were saying-- startled him enough to open his eyes. He hadn’t heard them since before… before… 

_ “Don’t you love your Daddy and I, Ed? This is how big boys show their--.”  _

“Eddie Gluskin.” 

He flicked his eyes to the mustached elderly man standing beside the hospital bed, a clipboard in his hands. Immediately he tensed, the situation all too familiar. He hadn’t liked doctors before --they had always probed and picked at the wounds of his that had festered the most-- but he especially hated them after being transferred to Mount Massive. The whispers grew a little louder, to his right, and he tried to turn, to look.  _ Where are they? _

“Mr. Gluskin, how are you feeling?” 

If nothing else, the question made him take stock of his body. Sore. Tired. He looked down at his abdomen and saw the outline of gauze through the thin fabric of the green-yellow scrubs. What a terrible color… like vomit. “Where am I?” he asked, throat dry and a rust-metal, blood like taste in his mouth. It seemed far more clinical than Mount Massive, which looked like someone set up shop in an abandoned, condemned building. 

_ But it was home… my home… for me and--. _

“A hospital. An emergency response unit found you in critical condition and brought you here,” the doctor said, apathetic, neutral, “You’re out of the woods as long as you don’t reopen your wound. It will take some time to heal fully, however.”

They found me--? Suddenly everything came rushing back, the look on his bride-to-be’s face as she looked up at him, stricken, her back as she ran away. To find help, no doubt. “M-My wife! My bride! Did you find her?”

The doctor blinked but, otherwise, seemed unaffected. “We currently have all survivors from Mount Massive here,” he said emotionlessly, “and we did not recover any females.”

_ No… no, no, no!  _ “No, she can’t be…!” Eddie gasped, his heart beating faster and faster, his breath escaping him rapidly, “She can’t be dead! Who?! Who was it?! _ Who killed her?!” _

_ “You can’t even protect your own woman, boy,” _ he heard his father’s voice over his shoulder,  _ “What kind of man are you?”  _

_ “Don’t worry, Ed. You’re not completely useless. Not to Uncle.” _

_ “You see how hard your Mama works? Woman works herself to the bone to provide for you, Ed. Don’t you want to help her? So she doesn’t have to work so hard all the time? Then move your hands, boy, and let your Uncle take the goddamn pictures.” _

“Mr. Gluskin” --Eddie jerked, fought his restraints in response to the abrupt interruption-- “as far as I am aware, there have been no biological females found among the dead either.” 

“...What?”  _ Maybe… maybe she got out, maybe she’s escaped… she’ll come back for me. I know she will. _ “Are you sure?” 

This got him some kind of emotional response as the doctor rose one of his bushy eyebrows. “Yes” --he paused writing on his chart, which he had been doing the entire time-- “maybe you’ll see her once you’re released into the general population. Of this facility, of course.”

_ Of course… of course there was still hope! _ Eddie didn’t even think about the fact that he had just declared that there were no survivors that were female.  _ We are soulmates! I’ll prove to her that I’m the right man to make an honest woman out of her. I’ll woo her like a true gentleman this time. _ “When? When will I be able to find her?” 

“In a few days. You need to regain your strength, Mr. Gluskin.”

That night he had a strange dream indeed. Guards surround him, dragging him towards a machine of unspeakable horror, of ugliness. He fights them as best he can but he is naked, vulnerable, and they have weapons. His eyes dart around the room, looking for an escape route but he finds none except --there.

There’s a tired, meek man behind the glass. A sharp contrast to the guards in dark tactical gear, the doctors in their white coats and the slippery administrators in their expensive suits. He is humble, simple, where they are not. Human and moral when they are not. So he runs toward the glass, bangs on it and begs like he hasn’t since he was a child. He doesn’t know what he expects the slender man to do but he asks for help anyway even though it will make the guards beat him more viciously, will make the doctors use more aggressive forms of “treatment”. Eventually they manage to yank him back and away, hit him so he loses his footing and they can drag him towards the Engine --force him inside it. 

The strangest part is that the meek man he had reached out to had his darling’s face. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for commenting on the first chapter! I was really surprised by the positive response to this so I'm going to try and stick with it. I will probably edit these chapters a bunch of times if I am particularly unhappy with how I wrote Eddie and will leave comments and stuff on new chapter updates (blending Eddie's delusions with reality is something that I've found to be challenging and I'm honestly looking forward to exploring it more and challenging myself)
> 
> Once again, THANK YOU guys so much and never be afraid to leave comments/criticisms/hints/etcetc! I'm really receptive to those as long as they're not cruel or unhelpfully mean! 
> 
> Stay safe and healthy!


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